the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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