We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
