garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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