But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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