i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
