come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
