god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
