everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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