wat bout pragnant strippers??
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
