just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
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