i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
