Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Randomize
