my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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