talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
