So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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