i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
