whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
