...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
