I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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