i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
