I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
