some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
