Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
