I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Randomize
