Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
