I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
