Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Randomize
