Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Even my vagina gasped.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
