I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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