Its about making memories worth repressing
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
