I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
This is my life. Enjoy the view
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
