its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
