On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
