Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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