Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
