So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
