I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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