They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
