There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
My bed is full of blood and feathers
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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