YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
kristin has been a bad kristin
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
