are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
