She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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