Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
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