you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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