yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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