You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
