We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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