i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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