so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
