I am puke
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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